Sibling rivalry

Julia, 7-year-old, drove her parents crazy with her jealousy. Julia constantly overstepped boundaries. She was often aggressive, acted unreasonably, and frustrated the entire family. Sometimes she would just walk away and leave her mother panicking.

During the first session Julia visualized photos in her head. In all these pictures, she was either sad or angry. With a magical photo camera, she shot new photos of herself and replaced the old ones.

During the session, it became increasingly clear that her jealousy began when her younger sister was born. The sweet little sister was suddenly there – she could not compete against this cuteness. Julia did not want to lose her role as the «baby of the family» and began to fight for attention. She felt alone and misunderstood.

In her mind, Julia first visualized herself in her mother’s womb. She saw a 2 on her forehead. This number stood for the number of years she would be the baby of the family.

We continued and went to the hospital, where she was a 2-year-old witnessing the birth of her sister. She visualized how her «7-year-old self» gave her «2-year-old self» a magnifying glass. With this magic magnifying glass, she could check mom and dad’s heart. She realized that both parents have exactly the same amount of love for her and her sister. Julia had an aha-moment.

She paused briefly. Then she took the 2 on her forehead and gave it to her little sister. Julia handed over her role as the baby of the family.

We change her perspective – congratulated her on being a “big sister” now and mentioning many advantages of being older. The first to ride a bicycle, first to go to school, staying up longer in the evening, getting to watch movies for older kids. Being the older sister is cool!

With the magnifying glass, we also checked whether the hearts of the parents had equal love for both sisters in years 3 – 7. Of course, that was the case. Julia realized how unnecessary her jealousy had been. She apologized to the whole family.

The first days after the session were a bit up and down. Shortly before the second session there was a temporary relapse, which is quite normal during the Revision Phase. After the second session, her grateful parents reported how much their daughter had changed for the better. Julia was suddenly caring and began taking responsibility for her younger sister. This girl had completely freed herself from her constraints within just a few weeks.